happy autumn equinox, fellow wanderers!
i haven't been able to stop by here for a while, things have been nonstop chaos... i am in this peculiar period of time, in between things, getting close to wrapping up a chapter of my life. that entails tons of work, and the bittersweet uncertainty of what comes after. this is probably my last year here, where i have been living for the past 4 years. it is terribly strange how our definition of home changes over time. i feel like i have, within me, pieces of all the places i've lived. i do not know where exactly to call home anymore, maybe we can have many of them?
it might be the introspection that autumn tends to bring, but these days i find myself yearning for a past version of myself, while trying to figure out who i really am today, and who i'll be next. does that ever happen to you? do you ever look back and think, ‘wow, i miss that version of me’? granted, it's not the most productive thing to do, and yet, it's an unmistakable think-a-lot tradition. for instance, i miss the version of me that walked home skipping down the street with joy and curiosity. we go through a lot of things, and we shed some things while gaining new stuff along the way. but what stops us from becoming whoever? perhaps the uncertainty of the future is a gift, more than something to be dreaded.
i feel like this time of the year, with summer fading away and autumn breeze settling in, can also guide our inner worlds. a time to shed the old leaves, open up space for new ones, slow down, turn back to ourselves, embrace the stillness...
and oddly, at times, i get a sudden feeling reminding me that one day not so far away, i will look back at this very moment i am experiencing, and yearn for that too... what do you do with that? i guess you make the best of it!
till next time <3
-ana
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